One of my relatives just graduated from college with $20,000 in student loan debt. Her boyfriend graduated, too, and he has over $100,000 in student loan debt. They want to get married, so she's looking for a job. He wants to go to graduate school, and take out more loans to remain a full-time student. The idea of even more debt hanging over their heads really bothers her. Do you have any advice?
— Denise
Dear Denise,
You don't throw away a great, potentially lifelong, relationship just because of debt. Things like laziness, dishonesty, and irresponsible behavior are deal breakers, though. Those are flaws that usually don't go away.
I'm glad she's looking for a job, but her boyfriend needs to be working, too. There's no excuse for either of them being full-time students with more than $120,000 in combined student loan debt hanging over their heads. Lots of people hold down real jobs, save money, and further their educations on a part-time basis.
If she were my niece, I would encourage her to have an open and honest discussion with her boyfriend about their future, and how he plans on paying for graduate school. She also needs to be very real about her feelings in this situation. If, after that, he still wants to just borrow more money and not work outside of school, then she might have a difficult decision ahead.
However, if he realizes how damaging additional debt could be to their relationship, and he's willing to work while continuing his education, I think their future together looks much brighter.
—Dave
