Husband and wife should make financial decisions together

Dear Dave,

My wife and I just started your class, and we’re determined to get out of debt. At the same time, I’d like to do something to reduce the stress in her life. She’s a nurse, and she works three 12-hour night shifts a week. I’m a teacher, and I think we possibly could get by if she cut down to just two nights a week and worked part time. Would this be a good idea?

Randy 

Dear Randy,

The truth is there’s no “possibly” involved. Even without knowing your income and other numbers, it all boils down to one simple question — can you live on that?

It’s a simple math thing. You need to look at your income and her income at 24 hours. Then, go over all of your bills and make a budget. If you can live on that, and it’s what she wants to do, you have the answer.

There’s no reason to do this immediately, either. I mean, we’re only talking about one day a week. Chances are it won’t change your lives that much. It probably won’t hurt anything if she works her regular hours through the end of the year. That way, you guys can keep looking at the numbers and decide on what’s best.

You obviously love your wife, Randy. But remember, this is up to her, too. Continue, with her, walking through the idea and the numbers. Make this decision together, so that you’ll both be happy and it will be a blessing in your lives.

Dave

Legal vs Moral responsibility

DEAR DAVE: Our family has an account at a movie rental store. I rented a movie the other day and forgot to take it back on time.

The late fees add up to $20. I'm in college and have a part-time job, so my parents think I should pay the late fees. They started the account, so shouldn't they have to pay the fees?

— Angie


DEAR ANGIE: Technically, I'm sure your parents are responsible for the account. But think about this. You're the one who rented the movie and forgot to take it back on time. If you have a job and access to money, I think you should be the one to make things right.

Chalk this one up as a learning experience, Angie. If you're grown up enough to be in college and have a job, then you're grown up enough to start cleaning up your own messes. That's the way life works. It doesn't mean that your parents don't love you. In fact, it means that they love you enough to teach you a valuable lesson in responsibility.

Lead by example to help younger siblings

DEAR DAVE: I'm having issues with my youngest brother and I need some advice. He's 25, divorced and has two kids. He only wants to play dad when it's convenient for him, and he's very irresponsible with money as well.

Our parents passed away a few years ago, so this leaves me to be the big brother and dad at the same time. I worry about him, but I'm not sure how to help him grow up. Any advice?

— Jeremy



DEAR JEREMY: One of the bad things about these situations is watching people you love do stupid things to themselves and the people around them. And I don't know that there's really a lot you can do without becoming the enemy to some degree. You can always try to hold him to a higher standard and refuse to tolerate immature, irresponsible behavior when you're around him. You might even look for opportunities to use yourself as an example. Point out areas in your life where you made mistakes in the past and how you fixed the problems. But to go out and directly intervene in his life, trying to force him to be a man, would be a tough thing to pull off.

When I help people on my show, I have the benefit of them calling in and actually looking to me for help. These people actually care about what I think. I don't just walk up to folks and say, “You know, what you're doing there is really stupid. Let me fix you.” I think that's kind of the situation you're in right now. I would also begin to pray for him, and ask God to bring people into his life who will have a positive impact.

You never know what might happen, and asking God for help is never a bad idea. Who knows? He might even start dating some strong, mature young woman who'll jerk a knot in his tail and straighten him up.

Truth about cancelling credit cards

Dear Dave: I recently tried to cancel a credit card, and the customer service representative told me that doing this would cancel out my entire 14-year credit history. Is this true? — Keri


Dear Keri: 

No, it is not true. The rep you spoke with is either a moron or a liar.

Canceling a credit card doesn't erase a person's entire credit history, and it doesn't erase their credit history with that company or their card, either. And by the way, your credit history doesn't last 14 years. It lasts seven years, but all the information on your record that is older than that — except for Chapter 7 bankruptcy — comes off your credit bureau report. A Chapter 7 filing stays on your report for 10 years.

So, you don't have a 14-year credit history. Sorry, it's just not there. And if you talk to this company again, you really need to find an educated rep to speak with. This one doesn't have a clue!

-Dave

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